Presence

How easy do you find it to live in the now?  Not the past, not the future, the now?  As in right now?

I, as a person, have experienced a profound, major transformational shift over the past 14 days which I wanted to share with anyone that was interested.

My level of consciousness or awareness as to how the mind operates and how filling up our mind with unnecessary thoughts & feelings can take us away from our natural state of well-being has been nothing short of revolutionary.

To understand that that 100% of how we live life operates from the ‘inside-out’ and NOT ‘ outside-in’ based on external circumstance has been a mind-blower.

Back-story

I have spent much of the past 4-5 years evaluating, learning, defining & clarifying the impact that I feel I could make at work and in the world at large using a mix of strong international sales & marketing skills + an obsession to improve & re-humanise the workplace, with varying degrees of success.

Today, however, I have had a major realisation as to why I have been going about it all the wrong way!

  • Networking is great
  • Meeting new people is great
  • Leading Twitter chats is great
  • Researching & reading is great
  • Offering support freely and with love is great
  • Leading a podcast is great
  • Connecting people so they can help each other grow is great

However I have kept asking myself these same future fear-based questions;  What is all this for?  What is the end game?  How is all this going to help me or anyone else?  Am I good enough to impact people positively?

Today I sit grounded, more present in the now than I have EVER been in my life.  For the first time I do not feel I need to have the answers to these questions above.  I am able to live more in the moment and to trust my intuitive mind more.  This does not mean inaction – it means action + a freedom of mind.

I do not need to continue the relentless push to make a difference, to prove myself, to increase my self-worth, to seek approval etc  The continuous chasing of these aspects of my life keep me living in a future state of fear, although this is & has not always been clear to me, despite doing some great work with WorldBlu in this regard last year.

I have still, despite a deep awareness as to dealing head on with my personal fears, continued to load my mind with thoughts such as;

  • What if I never get to live out my personal purpose?
  • What if I am not good enough?
  • Why do I seem to be ignored?
  • Why do they get recognised but I don’t?
  • Why do I care?

until 2 weeks ago.

Quality of Mind

2 weeks ago I spent 3 days on a Quality of Mind retreat led by Piers Thurston from Making Change Happen. https://www.linkedin.com/in/piersthurston/

We learned about so much, but in essence we all come from the same energy source, we are all connected, we all have mind, consciousness and thought & and we all come from an innate place of well-being.

I am not going to go into great detail and give away the detail of Piers teachings/learning, but suffice to say the absolute, unequivocal clarity that I now have that my ability to recognise and let thought go in the moment is likely to be genuinely transformational for the rest of my time on this planet.

An example of a major realisation for me:

Mental Health Challenge

I have spoken openly in previous blogs and on my podcast about my mental health challenge that I had c 2 years ago, which I put down to either burnout or extreme stress.

At that time, challenging situations both at home and at work were what I believed to cause my spike in brain pressure and leading to me leaving the business for 3 days.

Today, however, I now understand that those external factors were nothing to do with me going bang; yes, nothing to do with it.

What did cause it then?  It was my ‘inside-out’ view of my thoughts creating the extreme emotion and feelings in the moment.

I remember so clearly some of the thoughts being “you do not deserve XX.”  “You will never get YY.” etc  Whilst I acknowledged during my new understanding of fear that this negative self-talk was part of my problem, what I did not understand until last week is that it was my thoughts and I how attached those thoughts and in turn emotion to an external event that led to me going bang.

Michael Neills book Inside Out Revolution is a great intro this work https://www.amazon.co.uk/Inside-Out-Revolution-Thing-Change-Forever/dp/1781800790

as is a podcast that Piers joined me on before I had any intention to attend his retreat:

https://anchor.fm/value-through-vulnerability/episodes/Episode-3—Piers-Thurston-from-Making-Change-Work-e1h06v

Going Forward

Do I still have negative thoughts – 100%.  Have I become any less judgemental – I think so.  Am I calmer in myself?  Ridiculously so.

However with these implications occurring in the moment, who knows what or how I will feel by the end of writing this blog, but what has totally shifted for me is how easily thoughts come and drop compared to even a few weeks ago.   I for whatever reason am not layering up thought like I did.

This is not about practice or application – it is just about allowing the implied facts of life and how the mind works to operate.

I will leave you with one of my other biggest realisations of the 3 days for me.

“We all come from an innate state of positive well-being” – only by layering up thought do we take ourselves away from that place.

 

 

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